By: P Vaidyanathan
We humans are born with the inborn tendency, to expect. Expectations–from ourselves, from our siblings, parents, spouse, friends, teachers, bosses, jobs, country politicians, the list is practically endless—are always there, whether we want them or not. And as is the nature of life, some of these expectations are fulfilled easily, some expectations take time, energy, and lots of effort, while some are likely to remain unfulfilled, indefinitely.
Is expectation good or bad? Its neither good nor bad, it is something that exists. The problem is not that expectations arise. They will, and they can. The problem is that we are often unsure of how to manage our expectations, especially those that don’t get fulfilled. As and when we have expectations from anyone, we go into a receptive mode, into an expectant excited mode. And when what we want does not happen, we fall into anger, sorrow, grief, depression and frustration. We often feel guilty for having expectations, but we dont know how to help ourselves, or how to remain unattached.
We are all born with a particular destiny, with a particular karmic baggage which often determines the course of our lives. If we have to experience suffering, in order to do karmic balancing, this suffering can come in many forms—physical, mental or emotional. And having expectations which are not being fulfilled, is one form of karmic balancing, where we suffer emotionally. If we are able to take that perspective, if we are able to accept that what is happening to us is only for the purpose of learning and evolving, and that the lessons are more important than the suffering, we can be in a better position to manage our failed expectations.
Unfortunately, human beings live as if everything in this world is about them. They are more bothered about themselves, their looks, their health, their jobs, their families, which is fine. But we must remember that in the larger scheme of things, we are individual souls who have chosen to come to earth, to learn lessons. Nothing that we acquire here–the money, the comfort, the praise, the reputation, the social standing—nothing can be taken with us when we leave this world. What we take with us, is only the lessons learnt by the soul in its journey. And the lesssons are always about love, about courage, about compassion, about faith, and about kindness and forgiveness.
Once we get this perception, once we become more accepting of our life situations and sufferings from a karmic point of view, we can relax, knowing that this life is going as planned, and that we have nothing to worry. Expectations then become a game, where we rejoice if they are fulfilled and we accept if they are not, knowing that in the non-fulfillment, are major lessons for our soul.
The Buddha used to say “Desire(or expectation) is the root cause of all suffering”…which is true…..but since we often inhabit this earth to suffer, to balance karma and to learn, we have to reach the place where we can say that it is okay to expect, and it is okay to suffer the consequences of unfulfilled expectations. That will really push our spirit up in vibrations and make it go higher on the evolving path.
Source: https://www.speakingtree.in/blog/managing-expectations-717995
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